Zombiecon: Braaaannndddsssss!
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As the Halloween Season descended
upon Gotham, a strange radiation was drifting up from the bowels of this old,
decaying town. The veil between the living and the dead, always at its thinnest
this time of year, was about to be pierced in a most ludicrous way.
It was Zombie Time!
A week before Halloween weekend, Kostume Kult launched Zombiecon, an annually envisioned NYC zombie convention bringing together experienced ghouls and others interested in exploring their inner undead.
In
creating this new event, KK had no idea what kind of blood-thirsty genie was being
let out of the bottle, but the reactions soon bowled them over. Annual Santacon
devotees who also helped create Leprecon, Zombiecon seemed like a 'no-brainer'…
It was anything but.
With a kitschy website going up a few weeks before the event (www.Zombiecon.com), hits went through the roof and people from around the world were asking--- What city?, What city !?, What city !!!
After tallying the avalanche of RSVP's seeking the secret details, we knew we were in for a wild ride.
Meeting at a midtown bar for a noon-ish "Bloody Mary
Brunch" (featuring scrambled brains and blood sausages) there were a number
of special affects/ makeup artists on-hand to zombify the masses… The Horror
Channel taped interviews and Japanese newspaper reporters took notes as the zombies
swilled breakfast.
By 3pm, ~100 were fully zombified, well fed and nicely lubricated. The dead were stirring and ready to hit the streets on this appropriately dreary day.
Not just braaaiiinnnn-hungry, this group of undead were also feeling the subconscious need for upscale braaanndddss established by a lifetime of advertising and mindless conformity. On a midtown shopping spree, the zombies were headed for 5th avenue, ground zero for the flagship stores of the sexiest status brands.
The zombies drooled, gurgled and oozed. Eyes rolled, teeth gnashed and moans emanated. The Zombie Horde was "on the move".
First
stop was Dylans Candy Bar where several Kostume Kult artists, including Zombie
Queen Irene, had created beautiful candy fashion window displays. Quickly tiring
of these non-branded couture creations, the zombies' attentions soon turned to
the much bigger fish. Across the street was the shopping mecca, Bloomingdales.
Megaphoning garbled instructions, the bobble-headed "Zombie-Lord" led the Zombie parade into the 3rd avenue entrance of this full-block mega-building en route to the cosmetics floor. Warning the horde "you bleed on it, you bought it", the invasion was on.
While security scrambled, the retail salespeople of
this most fragrant floor welcomed us with hoots, cheers and the occasional squirt
of flowery perfume in a seeming effort to mask our undeadly 'tang'. Confusing
their decaying olfactory senses, the undead were sent scrambling towards the Lexington
Avenue exists. To the relief of the nervous security forces, the zombies had left
the building.
Next up was FAO Schwartz where there were stuffed animals to play with and Midwestern families to horrify.
Hamming with the Toy Soldier "guards" who did not mind letting a large crowd of bleeding ghouls into a building filled with easily-stainable cuddle toys and small, impressionable children, the zombies were singularly interested in going up and down (and up & down and up & down) the escalators until the lure of 5th Avenue dragged them on. As the zombies exited there were many smiles and seemingly few traumas left behind.
Ahhhhhhh… 5th Avenue…
The
zombies gurgled in anticipation. Their rotting synapses clicked with unconscious
delight for this beckoning canyon of mythic symbols. Much like the masses of living-brained
people who also pilgrimage to this place, the zombies pushed forth oogling and
ahhgging in much the same way.
Ignoring all the tasty tourists, brands trumped brains… These zombies wanted to shhhhhhoppppp.
The Zombies stormed by Bergdorfs, gaped at the window baubles at Tiffany's and Cartier and drooled on the Disney Store.
At Gucci, the Zombies lined up and pressed
their lifeless paws against the windows. Inside the shoppers recoiled in holiday
horror, clueless to the irony of where the true horror resided. Once the zombies
moved on (and the bloody fingerprints were squeegee'd) the customers resumed with
their own mindless behavior.
And on it went…
The zombies spent the rest of the day into night barhopping and clawing at the still living. They snacked on the stairs of Saint Patrick's Cathedral, ghouled about in Grand Central, protested in Union Square Park and terrorized the holiday shoppers at Halloween Adventure.
As the sky's opened up, the horde found themselves at a most welcoming East Village bar where they served brain punch and did not mind sugary blood dripping on the furniture.
Exceptional life via farcical death on this most unique day.
Next year will be huge.
